A Complete Home-Cleaning System...

[vintagehoover]

Following on from Rick's Universal Manual thread, and his wonderful commentary, I thought I'd look through some of my vintage manuals and find the funniest illustrations and suggested uses for vacs!

I have to say, the prize really goes to Air-Way...

First off, I'm sure many of you, like me, cannot sleep at night without having renewed the air under your rugs...

 

[vintagehoover]

No need to fluff up your pillows the old-fashioned way, shaking them by hand like a cave-person! We do things with electricity now!

Simply suck the feathers out of the old pillow, so they're whisked through the machine, beaten into submission by the fan, and blown into a second pillow-case, which you've unstitched just enough to fit it over the exhaust outlet...could it be any simpler?!

 

[vintagehoover]

When drying the hair of yourself, or your family, make sure the celluloid handle is inserted as far as possible into the gas oven, so you don't lose any of the heat or fumes.

A little morphine will quickly subdue any unwilling participants. Or enhance your own enjoyment of the procedure.

 

[vintagehoover]

Hoisting the cleaner into the air to empty the glowing embers in an ashtray is so much less strenuous than tipping the ashtray out by hand.

It'll also fragrance your cleaner with the welcoming scent of tabacco.

 

[vintagehoover]

NEVER operate machinery after consuming alcohol. As you can see, Betty's so liquoured up, she can't figure out which way up the cleaner's supposed to go!

 

[vintagehoover]

It's quick and easy to dry and condition your fur coat with the Air-Way. The searing jet of air can also be used to ward off any pesky PETA activists who may have subversive moral objections to the cold-blooded and barbaric slaughter of vulnerable animals for the sake of fashion...

 

[vintagehoover]

The chauffeur has fashioned the Air-Way into a crude bong, and has hotboxed the Isotta-Fraschini...

 

[vintagehoover]

Now THIS, I actually do...

 

[vacfanatic]

Betty Betty Betty...

Please put your hands together for Betty... and nobody give this broad anymore to drink!

 

[crevicetool]

You actually do what?

Wear an apron? O M G !!!! So do I!!!

Great stuff Jack!!! I loved the oven!

Rick

 

[sireluxomatic]

What great pictures! The one with the handle in the oven is hilarious, as well as that "welcoming scent of tobacco".

 

[hamiltonbeachbo]

Great Job, Jack!!!
Love the manual illustrations with your commmentary.
I think you and Rick have started a new trend on the forum.
I'll definitely be looking for more along with rereading these threads.
Great Fun.
Thanks for taking the time to produce this!!
Also, love your cleaning comparison videos.
Keep it coming .... from one of your biggest fans.
Pat

 

[vintagehoover]

Oh Pat...why am I suddenly thinking of Kathy Bates...?

 

[kenmore81]

Yes Jack

Keep them comming.Im working in a hospital and it is now 4 am,most of the patients are sleeping, and i busted out LMAO at the oven.A little morphine will quickly subdue any unwilling participants. Or enhance your own enjoyment of the procedure.OMG I got the other nurses just about peeing themselves and the patients wondering if there in the psyc ward.
Keep up the good work.From another big fan ;*)

 

[arh1953]

Got my morning giggle over the chauffeur in the Isotta-Fraschini, something about a man in a uniform with a bong. I could live without the pic of Kathy Bates weilding the mallet though, LOL!

 

[hamiltonbeachbo]

Oh Jack, you have to be very, very careful when it comes to your fans.
You can't take your eye off them for a second .... or WHACK!!
Just remember, we're only trying to help .... really!!

 

[veroroger]

Renewing the air

Anyone know the theory behind blowing air under a rug? I remember my mother doing that or having me do it when I got older. Never understood what that was supposed to do.

BTW, the chauffeur can do anything he wants in my car!

 

[hygiene903]

Great Job, Jack!

Loved the instruction pages and commentary! You and Rick are really on to something fun here, hope to see more! Interesting to note, that the instruction book for my model 77 Airway shows a similar method of hair drying, but without the stove and with the wands connected directly to the blower end of the vacuum without the hose.
Jeff

 

[luxg]

Jack, I have to agree with the others, you and Rick are on to something here. What fun. Renewing the air under your carpets, now that is one I have never heard of before. Isn't it fun the way they use to come up with new ways to make one think they needed a new machine. Thanks so much for sharing. Just another "fan"!! Terry