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I don't care if you LOVE Dyson... but don't go around bashing other brands we like!
The wonderful irony is, I don't actually bash them. I just tell the rest of the full truth that the rabid vacuum enthusiasts deliberately hide, and it's all fact checkable. That you interpret the full truth, in all its warty glory, as someone 'bashing' them reveals to the rest of us that they are in fact flawed and inferior devices, as the evidence shows. You've shown to be your own worst enemy on that front.

I don't love Dyson, I love technological advancement. Only Dyson seem to be responsible whilst the rest copy, so it appears to those with limited thinking that I love them. It's amazing how many of the 'vacuum enthusiasts' are incapable of making that very simple distinction, but it makes complete sense if they don't notice, understand, and therefore appreciate technological advancement. It's easier to just demonise it and those that recognise it and can tell the full truth. As long as it's exposed in the way you've just helped, the rest of us can make judgements for ourselves about that community and the products they peddle.

Oh, and the idea that you think you can just dictate what people can and can't reasonably say freely only compounds the poor image already made. Lumber this response with passive aggressive emojis and prove my point.
 
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I’ve taken the liberty of analyzing your so-called “scientific methodology,” and frankly, it collapses faster than a Hoover bag under hyper-compression flux dynamics. You keep tossing around the term science, but what you’ve produced isn’t science — it’s a garage experiment contaminated by subjective particle misalignment bias.


Let’s begin with airflow. You haven’t accounted for oscillatory vortex transduction within the cyclonic paraboloid chamber. Every legitimate airflow study must first normalize the pneumatically inverted suction coefficient against the translaminar whirlpool index, otherwise your cubic-foot-per-minute values are nothing more than decorative numerology. Did you stabilize the gravimetric oscillation nodes with a flowfield enthalpy compensator? No? Then your airflow data is nothing more than CFM cosplay.


As for suction, you’re treating it like some kind of binary “on/off” phenomenon, completely ignoring inverted hyper-pressure lamination. True suction analysis requires at least a triple-axis megabarometric suction harmonizer, cross-referenced against a vectorized suck-phase topology matrix. Without a properly tuned vacuo-resonant impedance diode, your so-called “measurements” are literally indistinguishable from holding your hand over a shop vac and guessing.


Agitation? Don’t make me laugh. You can’t just say “good agitation” without calculating the oscillatory bristle-chatter harmonics through a full-spectrum nap-friction coefficient cascade. Did you even attempt a micro-vibratory rug-nap entrainment resonance test? Did you quantify the bristle torsional flexion against the substrate’s pile-density inversion factor? Of course you didn’t. You’re operating at the level of caveman carpet scrubbing while pretending you’ve mapped the quantum bristle continuum.


And then there’s repeatability. Every legitimate vacuum study must be triangulated through a minimum of three hyper-calibrated dust-load oscillographs, preferably synchronized with a vacuum-phase chrono-spatial stabilizer. Did you even once attempt a gravito-static dust entrainment simulation using artificial ISO crumb particulates? No — instead you used “videos” as evidence, which is the intellectual equivalent of citing Bigfoot sightings in a doctoral thesis.


In closing, your “research” doesn’t even reach the threshold of pseudo-science — it’s sub-science, a crude parody of methodology that wouldn’t pass muster in a kindergarten sandpit. Until you can provide results supported by at least a fourth-order hyper-suction fluxogram and a validated bristle-pile harmonics displacement map, your conclusions aren’t scientific. They’re just noise — static dressed up in the costume of empiricism.
Holy crap, that was Star Trek level technobabble. Kudos!
 

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