<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms,geneva; font-size: medium;">Oh, I've got a Modern Hygiene instruction manual story that'll make you cry.</span>
<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms,geneva; font-size: medium;">There was a M-H on eBay back in December in pretty good condition, incomplete attachment set -- just the rug nozzle and crevice tool, and a red replacement cord [yes, I asked the seller about it - she said the plug had a Kirby logo on it].</span>
<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms,geneva; font-size: medium;">BUT... it had the original hose that appeared to be very nice, and a very cool advertisement, AND, according to the seller's description, the instruction manual!!! I watched the auction and to my surprise the machine did not attract even a single bid.
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<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms,geneva; font-size: medium;">So I wrote the seller saying, "Sorry your M-H didn't get any bids, but I have an offer for you. I'd be willing to buy just the hose and the literature. I don't need the machine since I have one in mint condition. But it would be great to have a spare hose for it, and I'd love to have the paperwork. I also don't need the attachments, so you wouldn't have to bother with sending them." The seller agreed and I PayPal'd the money to her.</span>
<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms,geneva; font-size: medium;">I had her send the package down to my church. It's safer to get parcels there than at home where they sit on my front porch all day. I didn't find the package until I was ready to leave after choir rehearsal one Wednesday, fairly late at night. The office mgr had forgotten to email me that I had a box in the office waiting for me. I happened to go in there to make a copy of something before I left, and there was the box. </span>
<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms,geneva; font-size: medium;">I opened it up and yes indeed, the hose was [key word "WAS"] beautiful, nearly perfect. She had also sent the two attachments with a note saying there may be more attachments around the house. If she found them, she said she'd send them to me. (It was her grandmother's vacuum cleaner and she had taken very good care of it, but the attachments had somehow gotten scattered all over her house.)
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<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms,geneva; font-size: medium;">~~~ And, My Oh My OHH MYYYY ~~~</span>
<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms,geneva; font-size: medium;">There was the beautiful two-color 8.5"x11" instruction manual! I nearly swooned on the spot. I had been looking for one for so many years, and there it was!!!!!
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<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms,geneva; font-size: medium;">As I was leaving the church to go home, I placed the box a few stairs up on the stairway leading to the organ loft, intending to finish unpacking it when I came back on Sunday and then take the contents home. I felt perfectly safe leaving the box there - the organ loft stairway is in the back of the sanctuary and no one but me EVER goes up there. The top half of the stairway is locked because of a little incident I had with a crazy person a few years ago, but I leave stuff on the stairs all the time and no one has ever bothered it. Didn't even give it another thought.</span>
<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms,geneva; font-size: medium;">When I returned to the church on Sunday, I went inside and immediately saw that the box was gone. Now WTHeck?? (wouldn't say 'WTF' in church of course hahaha!) I looked high and low for the box. Asked the pastor and office manager if any of them knew what could have become of it. No one knew.</span>
<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms,geneva; font-size: medium;">When the custodian arrived, I asked him about it. "Oh yes, I took the box," he said. "I needed it to put some stuff in. It was empty except for some old vacuum hose and some packing materials so I didn't think you wanted to keep it. It looked like a box of trash to me."</span>
<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms,geneva; font-size: medium;">O... M... GoSH.......</span>
<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms,geneva; font-size: medium;">I am sure I turned many shades of red, then purple, then green. I got dizzy and lightheaded and felt like I was going to throw up. HOW COULD THIS HAVE HAPPENED?
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<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms,geneva; font-size: medium;">I asked, trying very hard to remain calm and not get hysterical, "Now WHY would you have taken something from the organ loft stairs? I've put things on there many times in the past, including boxes, and no one has ever bothered anything, including you. And it just so happens that the box contained a set of very old, very rare household items and an even rarer instruction manual. I had been looking for a copy of that manual for more than 20 years, and now it's gone, and finding another one EVER will be very unlikely."</span>
<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms,geneva; font-size: medium;">He did not seem the least bit contrite. He just kinda shrugged his shoulders and said, "Well, if whatever was in that box was so valuable, why did you leave it sitting there?"</span>
<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms,geneva; font-size: medium;">What could I say. He was perfectly right, of course. It's just that, wouldn't you know, the ONE time I put something on the stairs that IS of GREAT VALUE would be the ONE time someone would see it and decide they "need the box."</span>
<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms,geneva; font-size: medium;">What luck, eh.</span>
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