For fear of becoming a hoarder
I get in the mood to just clean up...and while I hate to get rid of things that are perfectly good, I’ve come to realize that donating to goodwill or habitat for humanity places the item into needing or wanting hands...or another hoarders house! But it become therapeutic for me to clean out occasionally because then there’s room for the future finds without overstuffing the house. Once you know you have something and can’t find it that’s an indicator you have too much and things are getting out of control and that for me is when I decide to “clean out.”
My partner’s Father has hoarded crap for years over and over, he worked for the city as a trash collector and had gotten so much off the trash that he built a fence across the backyard to separate the junk yard portion from the nice portion. My partner’s sister passed away from cancer at 32 with 5 small children, they went to live with the father and he murdered the youngest one, they remaining were all going to end up in foster care so they adopted their grandchildren but now their small house was too small for a big family so they had to move. We bought them a new house in a better school district but we had to sell or delete all the junk, there were storage units too full of mostly unwantable junk and we had to delete those because they needed the money they were using for the storage unit rent to pay for the mortgage on the larger house. This was in 2006. Then in 2017 they had to move again, now to downsize from the big house which became too much for them since the kids were grown and gone, they never threw anything away since 2006 and the garage was full of junk. Closets packed, 2 of the bedroom we couldn’t even walk in because of the stuff they had collected in the unused bedrooms in recent years. All the work of cleaning up from all of this fell on me because my partner owns his own real estate company and must work. I had to have several estate sales to deal with all of the crap. His Aunt also lived with his parents and she was now dying and had 3 storage units full of all of her house contents from the last time she lived in her own house in 2001. I had to empty the storage units in 105 degree heat in July here in Texas and sell or give it away or trash it, she spent $268 a month on those storage units since at least 2001...do the math....she spent over $51,000 storing not very valuable stuff much of which got ruined, rat infested, wet from one of the units that leaked repeatedly, and covered with an unbelievable amount of dust and cobwebs. What little we were able to sell at yet another estate sale brought less than $1000. The night after the storage units were finally empty and I visited with her to tell her it was all done, she died from COPD and never got to enjoy the little bit of extra money she now had from not having to pay that storage bill out of her social security disability check which was $900.
So, my point here is that someone, at some time, is going to have to deal with all the stuff one hoards if one can’t start letting it go themselves, and it’s not a very nice thing to leave upon someone else’s shoulders. Most people won’t go through the lengths I did to salvage good or go through everything for the few really sentimental items that were buried especially since deaths had happenned and were occurring we knew a lot of photographs were buried in an unorganized fashion...in 64 boxes of bills and papers dating back to 1968 when his parents first married. I went through it all, to find those photos of my partner’s parent’s daughter who had passed away from cancer many years before so they could enjoy them. It took forever and I did it out of the kindness of my heart because I was there, just six months after meeting my partner, the night his Sister took her final breath from the cancer. It was horrible to see a Mother of 5, my same age, at 32 years old, die and be there watching as her parents had to say goodbye to their daughter.
So if you don’t take care to delete things that are junk and then organize the true collectibles into neat and orderly collections all that will likely happen is someone will see the massive amount of stuff and disorganization and order a dumpster, hire some cheap labor, and dump all of it, including the collectibles rather than clean it up organize it and sell it or even send it all to a goodwill or Salvation Army. I was only able to do this because I had the time as my partner said it’s better for me to do it than work at my home repair business which doesn’t bring it in much money. And it was his family’s stuff so there was a vested relative willing to do it and we had the money to afford to keep the house and take the time needed to so all of this and pay for the property while it remained unoccupied.
My parents are constantly cleaning out their two homes because they are in their 80s and know that they don’t want to leave a mess for us to deal with as they both had to clean out and sell their parents homes and know what kind of job it is to do and want to minimize this task for us when the time comes that we need to delete their homes. Fortunately one is a vacation home which will be passed to my Brother and I as we would like it and all it’s contents, but their primary home will likely be sold.
Sorry to go off track here but just responding to others who were admitting to being hoarders and having trouble deleting things. I don’t like sending things to the trash either and Goodwill, Salvation Army, and Habitat for Humanity have become my saving grace for deleting perfectly good stuff out of my life to keep me under control with stuff.
And my experiences cleaning out a hoarders stuff have cured me of ever wanting to go down this route. And believe me I would keep a lot more stuff if I had more room, but I’ve decided a smaller home is better and keeping it neat and orderly keeps things under control. I have my closets where I keep the collectibles and work tomneatly keep things stored so they fit in a small space and that helps keep a lot in a small space and that’s has to be reasonable enough. It’s a miserable, thankless job that pays nothing to deal with a huge amount of someone else’s stuff and that’s why most people who have to face it go right to calling in a dumpster and haulers to haul it all to the dumpster,
Jon