Beware...It's The Satan Chair!!!

[cb123]

A black crow led me to an old part of town today, to a antique shop, a ways off the beaten path. The proprietor, who had a ghastly, lifeless limp with a vulture's eye said, "Your just the soul to acquire this, and all for the paltry sum...$666 and zero cents...think nothing of the tax...do we have a bargain?!" He told me that it originated from a 19th century satanic lodge, and that its previous owner as of late, indeed, strangled himself as he reclined in its gruesome embrace. As from the photos I have provided, you my take note of its thick film of iniquity...no telling the debauchery it withstood! As I pondered this, I felt an icy bluster, more as a maligning presence within the sharp confines of that most inauspicious room, and it wasn't from the outside's glacial chill. You could almost feel a ghoulish, hellish cabaret dancing as upon a fresh grave!  I must say, the oppressive licentiousness of that dark place compelled me to flee at once, but not before I took these few photographs! It was only when I was safely within my own domicile again, that I finally realized to my horror...the 5th photo in the below picks, was the very one I snapped of the ol' proprietor which was seated in that...that before mentioned chair, but as you can very well tell, he was settled no place within its unholy frame!   Now, I only have but one more thought on this matter....Why could've not I found this before Halloween?!

 

 

[tolivac]

Just what I need?Use it to sit on while watching Sci-Fi and horror movies.The carved Satan "face" would make a great,uncomfortable headrest!For $666 it needs a refinsh and upolstery job and cupholders!-And holders for your TV remotes!

 

[cb123]

It could stand the touch of new fabric, for strangely it bore the strong aroma of blood and brimstone. I don't believe I would want that chair to occupy a single spot in my house. You would most probably have a gaggle of demons running interference with all of your electronics, and never again would you see" hide nor hair" of your car keys...forever gone into the black abyss...just below and beyond your floor! So Beware, Beware of the Satan Chair!!!  


 


 

 

[hismastersvoice]

I think this is a "Green Man" chair, very popular in the Victorian era. If it were in better condition, it would actually be quite valuable. Far more than $666, anyway. The crudely hewn replacement finial is a major defect, however.

 

[cb123]

Well, after drinking about a 5th of courage, I went back this evening to inquire of him, in regards to your wise observation, and upon my hesitant arrival, it was then that I noticed the shop was gone...as if it was never there at all! Was it some sinister magic, or was it the Blind Dog Bourbon...some mystery's one shall never know!

 

[hismastersvoice]

I've got my money on the Bourbon!

 

[cb123]

...Or it could've been a smidgen of undigested cheese...if you please!

 

 

[kenkart]

Im going to send!

Earnest Angely 25.00 to CAST THE DEVIL OUT OF THAT CHAIR!!!!

 

[vintagevaclover]

It's kinda cool, but I certainly would not want that in my house. As my grampa would say, it might bring "bad mojo" into the house lol.

 

[tolivac]

Use that Satan Chair to sit on while you try to listen to that Crosley "Repro" radio that "Got It" in the neighboring thread!

 

[cb123]

OK, what does the Crosley and the Satan chair both have in common? OK, I tell you, they both wind up burning....HEEEHEEEHEEE!!!

 

[tolivac]

Not Crosley modern radios--but a newer radio transmitter I know of--burned down a few transmiteer sites--Harris Gates MW50-Fires would get caused in the HV secondary wiring from the HV supply to the transmitter.A different type of cable fixed the problems.

 

[kirbysthebest]

One of the supervisors

Here at work has that very chair. Her's can spew sulfer, and spit brimstone though.

 

[dysonman1]

I love that chair. It's so cool. I would put it in the sitting room, just for the attention and conversation. I don't believe in God, so it just makes me laugh knowing others would be nervous - over a chair. People get nervous about the pentagram I wear around my neck too. I just laugh.

 

[hismastersvoice]

"makes me laugh knowing others would be nervous"

Especially since it's a symbol that's even used in old churches:



"Superficially the Green Man would appear to be pagan, perhaps a fertility figure or a nature spirit, similar to the woodwose (the wild man of the woods), and yet he frequently appears, carved in wood or stone, in churches, chapels, abbeys and cathedrals, where examples can be found dating through to the 20th century."

Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Green_Man

 

[cb123]

...or it's even better for spooky tales to give you goose pimples around the old campfire...such potential! This is just a lifeless piece of woven fabric and ornately carved wood...Why,  it's the soul which makes one wicked. 

[this post was last edited: 12/18/2014-18:50]

 

[kirbysthebest]

Tom
You haven't' met this supervisor. If you knew how totally evil this woman is, you would become a believer.


**Disclaimer**
This is posted as a flip comeback, and is not meant to influence anyone on this forum, you are free to believe, or not what you wish.

 

[hismastersvoice]

It's sad/annoying that it's come to the point of feeling the need to post disclaimers. People these days are way too easily offended and jump at the opportunity to become a victim. Toughen up and ignore stuff that you don't agree with!

Now back to your regularly scheduled pseudo-satanic chair chat...

 

[cb123]

An urgent update to the chairs history!!! It has just recently come to light that the ( Zen Master ) Wong Hung Low once meditated whilst he was seated in it. Now this is the interesting part: Once he arose and his meditation was complete, he noticed a magic shroom had sprung from its left horn! It was as if some answered prayer upon HIGH, and without any hesitation he wolfed it all down. Legend has it, all who witnessed it marveled in amazement, for their Master was instantly translated to a state of Nirvana and never again declared he another rational word....just babbled he on in his perpetual contentment!