s_brisowitz
Member
Hello my fellow members of the tribe, today I have a Hoover that I shall review.
Where do I begin? Well to start with, it has a platform shared with many other Hoover products of the time. This platform has received more nips, tucks, and overhauls than my sister Belinda had! This is because they needed to try to hold on to the glory days of an era long gone. In the same way that Belinda started to sag as the years went by this Hoover too is starting to fall apart. Like most Elite platform machines, the Widepath with Flaccid Guard Protection is a dirt blower, screams like mad, rattles when carrying or moving, and has the worst fit and finish ever to come in to America since the Chevy Cavalier. I will give the vacuum credit for being a decent performer on carpet, and for not being bad for deep cleaning. However, just like a twink when a 60 year old alcoholic daddy offers the keys to the Benz if he can do a few favors, this vacuum too (whether it be elite or other similar machines) has been whored out and it shows. Most Elite style units one will encounter will be clapped worse than Ashlee Simpson. This means that by now handles are to be cracked, tools missing, fans that threw in the wet towel, and bad motor mounts are all too common.
As I write this I'm on my 5th white zinfandel and it is not enough...
Back on to the Widepath, I feel like I should talk about the tumor attached to it called the "cassette." This atrocity leaks like a Swiss condom, or should I say the hostess after a leather event. All jokes aside this vacuum leaks horribly. Adding the cassette is about as useful as tits on a bore. Seriously, what good is a filter if the bag door exhausts sideways?
Now I should mention attachments, boy do these take the fist. Never have I seen such a useless system in my life. I've seen 90 yr olds with copd with better suction.
All and all a decent vacuum for decent people.
- Aunt Sylvia Brisowitz
Where do I begin? Well to start with, it has a platform shared with many other Hoover products of the time. This platform has received more nips, tucks, and overhauls than my sister Belinda had! This is because they needed to try to hold on to the glory days of an era long gone. In the same way that Belinda started to sag as the years went by this Hoover too is starting to fall apart. Like most Elite platform machines, the Widepath with Flaccid Guard Protection is a dirt blower, screams like mad, rattles when carrying or moving, and has the worst fit and finish ever to come in to America since the Chevy Cavalier. I will give the vacuum credit for being a decent performer on carpet, and for not being bad for deep cleaning. However, just like a twink when a 60 year old alcoholic daddy offers the keys to the Benz if he can do a few favors, this vacuum too (whether it be elite or other similar machines) has been whored out and it shows. Most Elite style units one will encounter will be clapped worse than Ashlee Simpson. This means that by now handles are to be cracked, tools missing, fans that threw in the wet towel, and bad motor mounts are all too common.
As I write this I'm on my 5th white zinfandel and it is not enough...
Back on to the Widepath, I feel like I should talk about the tumor attached to it called the "cassette." This atrocity leaks like a Swiss condom, or should I say the hostess after a leather event. All jokes aside this vacuum leaks horribly. Adding the cassette is about as useful as tits on a bore. Seriously, what good is a filter if the bag door exhausts sideways?
Now I should mention attachments, boy do these take the fist. Never have I seen such a useless system in my life. I've seen 90 yr olds with copd with better suction.
All and all a decent vacuum for decent people.
- Aunt Sylvia Brisowitz
