Thoughts on the Sebo Balance A1 Cordless Vacuum Cleaner?

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So, Sebo is the latest company to have recently completely duped Dyson’s technology with their new Sebo Balance A1 Cordless Vacuum Cleaner and jumped on the cordless stick vac bandwagon. This is a formfactor that shows no evidence of being anything but a truly triumphant success for both customer and business, and demonstration of incredible foresight and pioneering technological advancement since invented with the Dyson DC35 in 2010, contrary to some unjustified, hostile, and fearmongering opinions at the time. The formfactor actually works as a mains replacement—assuming you build the product to work correctly, which very few bother to do. And even if you don’t, all the regressive capitalist companies, whose primary business objective seems to be to exploit the vulnerable, are lapping it up and making their own naff clone versions. That copycat behaviour wouldn’t happen if the original idea was a dud, didn’t work, and wasn’t popular—a fact rarely pointed out, sadly, despite its profound significance. We know from recent hard data that the Dyson products pioneering this idea are globally trusted more than any other by far.

Some diehard Sebo fans I’ve observed on the internet are surprisingly hostile to Sebo’s first foray into directly cloning Dyson’s cordless stick vac machines. For most other brands, I’ve observed that disturbingly hardcore tribalists tend to play hypocrite by denouncing the original and pioneering technology that actually works, whilst simultaneously giving a free pass to the nasty clone dupe which doesn’t work as well, simply because their favourite tribal brand name is on it. In fairness, I have seen some evidence out there of exactly that as well—it’s Sebo, so all is forgiven, and double standards are fine. I have to say, one of the most disturbing and unfair criticisms of this Sebo machine I’ve come across more than once in online ‘reviews’ is based solely on where it’s manufactured. It’s really disturbing to see what is absolutely tantamount to continued racism running rampant amongst the so-called vacuum enthusiast community. That disgusting idea that you can pre-judge any product based on nothing more than the race of those associated with where it was manufactured physically, distinct from the track record of the company that designed it. And yes, it’s actually robots that physically manufacture it. I’ve already shown in my Gen5 review how flawed the thinking of these racists are. In the example I pointed out, Dyson changed the country where their machines were physically manufactured, yet you couldn’t quantify any physical difference whatsoever in the final physical product generated by the robots, regardless of where they physically sat on earth. Look out for when people immorally fixate on either the nationality associated with the designer/manufacturer or the country where that manufacturer chooses to construct the products for economic reasons—or worse, conflate the two. It makes no sense and is pure, vulgar racism, and it’s about time more stood up to it. A product should be judged on its own race-less merits, and it's the manufacturers who could be pre-judged by their track record of the capabilities and quality of the products they produce, not the race of the people living where they are made.

Seeing as I haven’t yet seen a competent review of this machine on the internet, I’m tempted to review it myself. Unfortunately, Sebo have some of the worst policy of any manufacturer out there, as reflected by their returns policy, which reflects quite badly on them as a company. Pathetically, and in a way that deserves nothing but harsh scorn, they aren’t respectable or admirable enough to offer a try before you buy policy, unlike their competition, which are thus clearly superior. For example, Dyson offer a 35-day money back guarantee. Literally try it for over a month before deciding whether it’s for you. That’s respectable. Sebo are really not all they’re cracked up to be based on what I can directly observe, which reflects very badly on the associated diehard tribalist behaviour I see out there in various places on the internet. Why wouldn’t you offer try before you buy? The best out there do. I never get a good answer. I really would like to try this machine and quantify its relative performance and ease of use.

Even without a review, there are so many observations that can be made from what others have posted, as well as the specifications and technologies Sebo offer in the product. It doesn’t look good, unfortunately, although I won’t go into details here in the interest of brevity. Suffice to say that despite something like the Dyson V10 having been on the market for the better part of a decade, which absolutely is a mains replacement as data clearly showed, the Sebo Balance is apparently not. That’s just terrible and there’s no real excuse for it. Why would you put out a product like that if you really cared about the customer? Why would you expect customers to pay you nearly £400 for a ‘whip round’ machine? There’s no place for that product class anymore. We know it's possible to have a mains-equivalent machine in the superior stick vac form factor. In fact, you can spend less and get an older Dyson product, like the cheaper £350 V11, which still ticks that box. Literally stupid business practice IMO that doesn’t suggest I’m put first as a customer.

Those are my free thoughts anyway. Be interesting to see if anyone has any reputable evidence to support any other or alternative conclusions.
 

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